The Economy is so Bad That…

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
CEOs are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
I bought a toaster oven, and my free gift was a bank.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Motel Six won’t leave the light on anymore.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
They renamed Wall Street, “Wal-Mart Street”.
Then Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to to share a room.

And finally,

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds. etc…, I called the suicide hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.